Key Takeaways
- Addiction extends far beyond substances to include anything we depend on that is "less than ourselves"
- We can identify hidden addictions by looking for "shortcuts" to the life we want
- Social media comparison and "lifestyle porn" create insidious dependencies that damage our wellbeing
- Taking honest inventory of our small daily dependencies can reveal surprising areas of slavery
- Freedom begins with recognizing what controls us, not just the stigmatized "major" addictions
The Quote That Changes Everything
"The man who for consciousness of well being depends upon anything but life, the life essential is a slave, he hangs on what is less than himself."
This quote, attributed to George MacDonald and shared by Chris, serves as the conversation's foundation. It introduces a radical redefinition of addiction that extends beyond substances to anything we depend on that is "less than ourselves."
The power of this perspective lies in its simplicity and universality. As Chris explains, "What this quote is basically saying... is that if you rely on anything less than yourself, you're addicted, you're a slave, you are not the man that God intended you to be."
This framing "robbed the whole stigma" around addiction for Chris. Instead of seeing addiction as a binary state that only affects certain people with certain substances, he came to understand it as a spectrum affecting everyone through various dependencies.
The Democratization of Addiction
One of the most helpful aspects of this redefinition is how it removes shame and isolation. "It took all that bigness of it, all that impossibility of getting over it and really minimized it," Chris shares.
This perspective creates a level playing field where we're all dealing with dependencies of different kinds. The question isn't whether we're addicted, but to what and how seriously.
"My version of it just happens to be this," Chris explains, referring to his specific struggles. "It's everybody's going through it." This realization can be tremendously freeing for those who feel uniquely broken or stigmatized by their particular dependencies.
The Everyday Addictions
Both men bravely catalog their own everyday addictions, demonstrating the power of honest self-assessment:
Chris admits dependency on:
- Coffee
- Comfort
- "Feeling good at the end of a hard day" (often through alcohol)
Tilghman recognizes his addiction to:
- Caffeine
- Comfort
- Procrastination
This candid inventory illustrates how normal these dependencies are—and how they can operate under the radar of our conscious awareness. As Tilghman puts it, "I'm actually realizing a lot of things that I'm actually addicted to... that I rely on."
By naming these dependencies, both men model the kind of honest self-reflection that precedes genuine change.
The Shortcut Principle
Chris offers a practical framework for identifying hidden addictions: look for shortcuts to the better life you want. "Addiction, you can generally spot an addiction if it contains a shortcut to the better life."
Examples illuminate this principle:
- Want to feel strong? Caffeine provides an immediate but artificial sense of strength.
- Want excitement? Thrill-seeking behaviors offer instant but hollow stimulation.
- Want energy? Coffee provides it instantly, while the authentic path (adequate sleep) requires discipline.
This shortcut principle reveals why addictions are so tempting—they promise the rewards without the work, the results without the process. But as Tilghman notes, "Maybe I'm not addicted to caffeine. Maybe it's the world that got me addicted to caffeine."
The Real vs. Artificial Path
Tilghman shares a powerful insight about authentic alternatives to addiction: "I'm so glad I got up and I decided to work out today because if I hadn't... I'd probably been dead just mentally."
This contrasts markedly with the approach modeled by "super guru fitness influencers pounding back monsters and all this pre-workout before they go to the gym."
The real path—whether to energy, strength, or wellbeing—typically involves:
- Discomfort rather than comfort
- Patience rather than immediacy
- Discipline rather than convenience
- Reality rather than fantasy
As Tilghman puts it, "A real man is somebody that can put those things aside and still maintain the same velocity that he thought he would."
The Instagram Life vs. Real Life
Perhaps the most insidious modern addiction is what Chris calls "lifestyle porn"—the idealized, "hyped up, juiced up, cartoonish version of the good life" presented on social media.
"We're all looking at it. We're all watching it," Chris notes. "And it's like, 'Man, wow, look at that lifestyle. I want that lifestyle.' And then we look at our life and are like, 'My life is garbage.'"
Tilghman connects this to his own struggle: "I've seen a lot of digression in myself... because I'm doing all this comparison." This constant comparison creates a dependency cycle where we need increasing doses of validation, achievement, or material success to feel adequate.
The parallel to explicit content addiction is striking. In both cases, artificial and exaggerated portrayals create unrealistic expectations that damage our ability to find satisfaction in reality.
A Universal Principle
While the conversation includes Christian perspectives, Chris explicitly extends the message to those of all beliefs: "If you are not a Christian, if you don't believe in God, totally fine. This is still for you."
The core principle transcends specific religious frameworks: "You should not be slave to something that is less than yourself." Whether one finds their higher standard in God, ethical principles, role models, or human potential, the message remains relevant.
"We as humans were designed to be better than we are," Chris emphasizes. "We can grow—we see it all over the world."
This broader framing encourages every listener to examine their dependencies, regardless of their worldview. The invitation isn't to adopt a particular faith but to live according to higher standards than "some chemical or some dopamine hit."
The Invitation to Freedom
The conversation concludes with a practical challenge: identify "these little insidious things that just live all under the surface" and experiment with removing them temporarily.
"Biblical fasting," Chris notes, accomplishes precisely this purpose—"You take away everything and then you're like, 'My gosh, I can't live without X, Y.'"
Both men commit to their own next steps. For Chris, it's continuing to forgo alcohol at day's end and potentially addressing his coffee dependency later. For Tilghman, it's working alongside Chris in this journey.
The path to freedom begins not with dramatic declarations but with honest acknowledgment and small, deliberate steps away from dependency. As the conversation demonstrates, we gain power over our addictions first by naming them, then by gradually reclaiming our autonomy from them.
The question remains for each listener: What controls you? And what would your life look like if you were truly free?
