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Key Takeaways
- Rock bottom looked like walking parking lots for pennies and living in a port-a-potty
- Relapse doesn't have to be part of recovery, but if it happens, learn from it
- A stranger's plane ticket and simple request changed everything
- Recovery isn't just stopping the bad - it's starting to truly live
- "I don't have enough time in a day for all the things I love" vs. "What will I do if I can't drink?"
- The same experiences become completely different when you're actually present
- Learning to have fun in recovery is essential - miserable drunk or miserable sober is no choice
The Bottom Below Rock Bottom
Part 3 opens with the stark reality from Part 2's cliffhanger: "I pretty much became homeless on the streets of Cleveland. And it's important to note too, all I had to do to have a place to stay was be clean."
That simple requirement - sobriety - was impossible for Zach in active addiction. His parents and family "were always there for me. They just wanted me to stop using. But at that point in time, that was not an option."
The daily routine of homelessness and addiction:
- Wake up withdrawing from substances
- Walk back and forth in mall parking lots collecting nickels and dimes
- Buy Four Lokos with the change
- No money for even a $5 Little Caesars pizza
- Dig through dumpsters at shift's end for thrown-out pizzas
The Handicapped Port-a-Potty Palace
In perhaps the most vivid image of degradation, Zach found twisted pride in survival: "I thought I was the coolest guy ever because I found a handicapped port-a-potty, which is twice as big as a normal port-a-potty. And I would hang out in there all day long because it would keep me out of the snow."
The rest of his day: sneaking into movie theaters, hopping screen to screen for warmth, scrounging for RTA bus tickets to ride up and down, pawning tickets for more booze.
Chris's callback hits hard: "What you said earlier about how when you were in rehab and you're like, 'that guy's homeless. I'm not homeless.' Not yet. Like, wow, it really did play out."
From Bougie Rehabs to Cockroach Nightmares
Zach's treatment center journey mirrored his life's decline. Starting at "bougie rehabs" that "almost felt like a vacation resort," he ended in Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a horror story:
First came the cockroach infestation - "fear factor style, huge cockroaches running around." Then they disappeared. Not from an exterminator, but because of wood rats "like the huge rats" that ate all the cockroaches.
The discovery moment: "You'd leave an oven mitt on the countertop... walk back into the room and it would look like this oven mitt was floating on the wall." The rats had eaten holes in walls, grabbed oven mitts, tried pulling them through, got stuck, then ate the back half while the front half hung from the wall.
The Power of Forgiveness and Persistence
"I talk about some of my relapses... not because I want to be discouraging... Relapse does not have to be a part of anyone's story."
But for Zach, it was. The turning point wasn't wanting sobriety - he wanted it many times before. "It wasn't until I could forgive myself that I was able to finally start getting clean, sober and progressing."
His message to those struggling: "I was trying to convince family and friends that this time is going to be different. Now it's gotten to the point where I'm trying to convince myself it's going to be different. It is possible."
Tilghman's Truth About Autopilot
Tilghman adds crucial insight about recovery maintenance: "I have to constantly keep myself in the present moment. Cause if I go into autopilot, I'm going to find myself in that liquor store parking lot again."
The unexpected benefit: "I'm retaining better memories... I can keep myself better organized on a day to day basis... being present has really helped me get a grasp on myself and fill that void that I was trying to fill by drinking."
Each relapse taught him: "This is disgusting." The key becomes "keeping that rationalization for the good stuff instead of rationalizing to go into the bad stuff again."
The Gift Card Miracle
Zach's final bottom involved a desperate scheme. He'd call hotels claiming to be an out-of-state visitor who lost a gift card, hoping they'd give him the number to use for liquor.
"99% of the time, they would tell me to get lost." But one hotel had a found gift card. Problem: It was at the airport, and Zach was an hour away with no transportation.
Through "the grace of God," he managed to get there. At the airport, "beat to heck, dirty," security wouldn't let him in without a boarding pass. A stranger noticed his distress.
The Guardian Angel
"Where are you trying to go?" the stranger asked. "Back home to Ohio." "I got you."
This man, who Zach believes was a guardian angel, paid for his plane ticket and drove him to the airport. At departure, Zach apologized for having nothing to repay him.
The response: "All I ask is that when you get back on your feet, you go and help someone else that's in need."
"I still get choked up to this day talking about that guy... I truly think that was God putting him in my life."
They've since reconnected on Facebook, allowing Zach to thank him properly.
November 5, 2015
"I ended up going back home and got into treatment and that was November 5th of 2015. And I have been clean and sober ever since."
The transformation is complete: "When I was attempting to get sober, I used to think, 'What in the world am I going to do if I can't drink or do drugs? That's like what us young people do.'"
Now: "My biggest complaint in life is I feel like I don't have enough time in a day to do all the things that I love."
The Secret to Lasting Recovery
"I was surrounded by a group of guys that were just not going to let me isolate. They pretty much dragged me out to do things and have fun and taught me how to enjoy life in recovery."
Zach's firm belief: "That is the biggest thing when it comes to overcoming addictions - you have to learn to have fun in recovery. Because if you're miserable drinking and you're miserable when you're sober, it's very easy for you to rationalize being miserable and having something to numb things."
Life still happens in recovery, but "through working, whether it be a 12 step thing or whatever, you learn the tools to cope with those negative things."
Addressing the Root
"Those substances and those addictions that we have are just like a byproduct of underlying things that we're struggling with."
Chris agrees completely: "It wasn't until I addressed the underlying needs that I had, that things really finally started to turn." He had to learn to plug his desires "for love, life, comfort, soothing" into places that would actually benefit him long-term.
"It's one thing to stop the bad thing. It really changes the game when you can now start the good thing."
New Passions, Real Relationships
Recovery opened Zach to experiences he never imagined. A friend introduced him to longboard skateboarding: "I have no idea how to do that. I spent the evening with them doing it and we had a blast. I sucked at it, but I had a blast."
"I would have never ever done that if I was still in a Burger King bathroom, drinking a thing of $5 vodka."
The relationships are different too: "I've been able to surround myself with people, friends, family that I'm able to truly have real relationships with... I'm actually able to be present now."
The Dog That Changed Everything
The most powerful moment comes near the end. Zach used to pass out drunk next to the family dog daily - "same thing day in and day out, pass out next to the dog."
Years into sobriety, visiting his parents, the dog wanted to lay with him again. Same bed, same position, same dog - but completely different:
"It was almost like a spiritual experience. The same thing I did a million times, but... I could feel her warmth. I could feel her heartbeat. I could feel her ribs and her lungs expanding."
This simple moment captured everything: "Such a good representation of life as far as how much I was missing when I was just totally numb to everything. Now I'm doing the same thing... but it is just completely different."
Chris's Emotional Response
Chris, clearly moved, can barely speak: "I can't say any more words."
The image of feeling a dog's heartbeat for the first time after years of numbness captures what recovery really means - not just stopping destruction, but starting to actually experience life.
Zach's Final Message
"For anyone who is out there struggling with whatever substance or thing that you might be struggling with - just knowing that there is a way out, there is a better way of living."
It doesn't matter if "you're just starting to get into this substance, whether you've been doing it for decades and decades, there is a better way of living and you can do it."
The Three-Part Journey Complete
From Part 1's college "3-day rule" rationalization, through Part 2's homeless shaking on Cleveland streets, to Part 3's spiritual awakening feeling a dog breathe - this is addiction to restoration.
The progression down was inevitable once it started:
- College party culture
- Parents' basement boxing at 3 AM
- Hospital job lost
- DUI from uncle's SWAT team
- Homeless and shaking
- Port-a-potty shelter
- Dumpster diving for pizza
But the progression up was just as real:
- Guardian angel's plane ticket
- November 5, 2015 treatment
- Learning to have fun sober
- Building real relationships
- Discovering new passions
- 10 years of continuous sobriety
- Not enough hours for all he loves
The Underlying Truth
Every addiction story is unique, but the patterns are universal:
- Rationalization and self-deception
- Progressive deterioration
- Hitting bottom (wherever you stop digging)
- The moment of grace
- Addressing underlying issues
- Finding community
- Learning to live, not just survive
Zach's story proves that no matter how far down you've gone - eating from dumpsters, living in port-a-potties, shaking too hard to drink - there's a way back up.
Your Next Best Step
Chris ends with simple advice: "Take the next best step."
Not the perfect step. Not a giant leap. Just the next best step.
For someone reading this while struggling, that might mean:
- Calling for help
- Going to a meeting
- Telling someone the truth
- Asking for treatment
- Forgiving yourself
- Staying present today
The Heartbeat Moment
We return to that dog, breathing quietly next to a man who finally feels her presence. For a decade, Zach was there but not there, physically present but emotionally and spiritually absent.
Recovery didn't give him a new life - it gave him the ability to feel the life he already had.
That's not just sobriety. That's restoration.
Ten years later, Zach still remembers the man who bought his plane ticket and asked only that he help someone else in need. By sharing this story, he's keeping that promise.
Someone needed to hear this today. Someone walking parking lots for change, someone in their own port-a-potty, someone shaking too hard to hold a can - there is a better way of living.
And you can do it.
