Key Takeaways
- True rest requires intentional engagement; passive activities like scrolling and TV often lead to collapse, not renewal
- Your body will eventually force you to rest if you ignore the signs – usually at the worst possible moment
- Digital detox, even for short periods, enables deeper conversations and connections
- Meditation, even just 5 minutes daily, helps "throw out the garbage" from your day
- Rest should be approached with the same seriousness and commitment as work
The Warning Signs of Inadequate Rest
"As cool as it might seem to be like, 'Oh, I don't sleep, I take no days off'... eventually your tank is going to get empty and your body's going to say, 'Hey, you need to take a break,'" Tilghman warns in our latest Monday Motivation conversation.
Many of us pride ourselves on pushing through, grinding without pause, and wearing our exhaustion like a badge of honor. But Tilghman offers a sobering reminder: "If you don't listen to your so-called check engine light, your body's going to take a break on its own. And at the worst possible moment."
The Critical Distinction: Rest vs. Collapse
Most men understand the concept of rest days in physical training. Your muscles need time to recover and rebuild. But we often miss that the same principle applies to our entire being – mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
In our conversation, Chris highlights a crucial distinction: "There is a difference between rest and collapse."
That end-of-day Netflix binge with a beer? The mindless social media scrolling? The zoning out in front of the game? These aren't forms of rest – they're forms of collapse.
"When you collapse at the end of the day, you don't get renewed. You don't get revitalized," Chris explains. "Yeah, you rest physically, but your mind just says, 'Oh my gosh, I can't take any more.'"
What True Rest Looks Like
So what constitutes actual rest? Both Chris and Tilghman emphasize that true renewal requires engagement – just a different kind than your work demands.
"Actual rest, actual renewal involves a certain level of engagement. You are taking some time and putting some thought into your renewal," Chris shares.
Practical examples they discuss include:
- Meditation: Tilghman has found even 5 minutes of meditation helps "collect everything that's happened throughout the day" and "throw out the garbage."
- Technology-free time: "When I'm at home, let's just get away from the technology. You're around it all day... Enough's enough," Tilghman explains.
- Meaningful conversation: Chris describes how turning off screens leads to "amazing conversations" with his wife about "something that she's going through that I didn't even think about."
The Digital Distraction
Both men acknowledge how technology, while essential to their work, often prevents deeper rest and connection.
"When you engage in your rest, you gotta look at your rest like your work almost. You have to stay engaged with it and be committed to it," Tilghman reflects.
He notes that when he and his wife put down their phones, "our conversations are just like, 'I didn't even know we could have these kinds of conversations.'"
This deeper connection itself brings rest: "When you're more connected, you're not so restless."
The Paradox: Work in Your Rest
Perhaps the most counterintuitive insight from their conversation is that meaningful rest requires effort. It doesn't just happen when you stop working – you have to work at resting well.
This might mean:
- Setting boundaries around technology
- Creating intentional spaces for reflection
- Engaging with loved ones without distractions
- Planning activities that genuinely renew rather than merely distract
Taking Action: Small Steps Toward Better Rest
If you recognize that your current approach to downtime isn't actually restoring your energy, consider trying these small steps:
- Set a technology curfew – No screens 30-60 minutes before bed
- Try a 5-minute meditation – Tilghman recommends this for processing your day
- Replace one passive activity with an engaging one – Instead of TV, try reading or a meaningful conversation
- Notice the difference – Pay attention to how you feel after different types of "rest"
Looking Ahead
As Chris mentions, this conversation is part one of a two-part series on sustainable energy and long-term success. Next week, they'll discuss the importance of community and belonging – how we need other people to do life with.
The journey toward better rest isn't about perfection. As Tilghman acknowledges, "We all can be better." But by recognizing the difference between true renewal and mere collapse, we can begin making small changes that lead to more sustainable energy and greater satisfaction.
What small step will you take this week toward more intentional rest?